Hello, hello! Sit down, get yourself comfy! Reach for your credit card. It's been too long.
Today is International "Did You Know There Is Stuff You Can Buy?" Day, the anniversary of which is celebrated daily in most parts of the world.
But wait, that's not all!
There's also some free stuff (but nothing like as much).
Free thing 1: No Tomatoes
A BBC Radio 4 Extra repeat run of my BBC 7 (eeh, those were the days) sketch show commences on Tuesday the 26th of March. Go here to read all about it with my name everywhere or here if you'd rather minimise my involvement but be one click nearer playing the episodes.
No Tomatoes can be listened to for free on demand on iPlayer radio anywhere in the world (each episode available for a week after transmission). Free! It is an excellent bargain at that price.
Free thing 2: A Trailer
Do you see how the amount you get for nothing plummets as you go down the list?
My Doctor Who audio play The Alchemists has a trailer, and you can hear it for absolutely nothing by clicking the "Listen to Trailer" button on this page (also an excellent page to buy it from). It's set in 1930s Berlin, involved a truck load of research and has nothing to do with the synopsis someone's put up for it on Wikipedia! They've quite intelligently extrapolated from the blurb but, erm, completely made their own story up (citation needed).
The Alchemists is now out in August, having been unlucky with a couple of delays since it was first announced however long ago it was. One was an actor availability issue that pushed recording back and the other was a last minute technical issue which meant the CD wouldn't be ready in time for the revised release date. It's all glamour, isn't it?
Not that dear stuff 1: Things by me on Amazon.co.uk
Look at this lovely list! There's lots of Doctor Who related stuff here- fictional, factual, passing quite near Doctor Who and waving, and the book I wrote on UK TV History focusing on the independent production sector, which is properly all grown up and not even a teeny bit about Doctor Who.
All the items are at marvellous competitive prices due to Amazon's policy of not paying the tax it should and only accepting stock at evilly discounted prices. I will of course get stuff all or next to stuff all for any of these purchases. Maybe, if you get some of this not dear stuff this way you should think about getting some of the stuff that actually helps smaller companies survive directly from them.
Stuff that will be pretty good value for money that you can't quite order yet 1: A short story
I'm writing a story set in Phil Purser-Hallard's City of the Saved Universe (which he maintains is mainly this Universe plus some stuff that hasn't happened yet). It's in a category all of it's own of original Science Fiction that waves at a Universe that nods and winks to the Doctor Who one. There's a bit of a preview here in lieu of Obverse Books, the lovely independent publishers behind it, managing to monetise your interest in it and bunging up an order page.
Stuff that was free as a download you need to pay more to get hold of in CD form 1: The Revenants
My audio drama that was given away with Doctor Who Magazine in mp3 form is soon to be yours to own in a format audiophiles don't dislike quite as much. It's being offered as part of a deluxe Doctor Who CD boxset. You can get the 2 CD multiple Doctor audio adventure separately cheaper, but for spending a bit more dosh it'll also come in really lovely packaging along with 2 CD documentaries (one about the adventure's making and the other about the history of Big Finish, the company that makes the Doctor Who audios) and my play.
This is however a limited edition so I suspect if you don't go for it this year it'll be tricky to get hold of in years to come. You can buy that here.
Stuff that is freely given and is thus valued as worthless 1: My Love to All of You.
No, really. I'm proud of you for getting this far down this litany of self promotion. Thank you.
There, that was nearly fun, wasn't it?
I've recently had some casting news on future plays which has made me very happy indeed, but I can't say much now. One of the people involved has mentioned it on the internet, but even I couldn't find it until I really hunted, so I suspect you won't either. I had the advantage of knowing their name. All will become clear.
I know people like to find out stuff in advance (and that's pretty much the only reason you've got this far down this list) but it's probably better to wait and avoid the anticipointment of piecing together something in your head that real life then fails to match. That person who made up their own version of The Alchemists on Wikipedia is going to feel very let down for starters...